can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
