Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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