Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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