and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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