Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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