I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
