you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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