I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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