he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
