Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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