are you so shy because you have an std?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
