HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
