chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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