were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think my moral compass just broke
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
