We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
