Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
