I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
