there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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