My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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