all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
