The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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