i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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