Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
