I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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