whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
