Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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