You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
