so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
