haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
