i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
