a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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