apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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