I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
