I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need to calm my uterus...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
