Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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