I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
