so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
