How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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