Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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