Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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