I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
