both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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