We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
