the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
