margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
