Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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