I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
