I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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