the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
