I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
