Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
im on a boat
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