White coat. Heels.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
